A clear, simple guide for families.
Part of the AISK — a free library of practical SEND guides · Read, share and print freely · sendexpertsathand.co.uk/aisk
The practical groundwork — planning, journeys, access passes and what’s available locally.
Almost every difficult day out has the same cause: something that would have been easy to arrange three months earlier had to be improvised on the morning. This guide covers the groundwork that makes the rest possible — how you plan, how you travel, who you tell, and what help exists that nobody advertises loudly.
Somewhere in the planning of every big occasion, it is worth stopping and asking yourself a single question:
Is this the thing my child will enjoy — or am I doing it because of what other people will think?
Both answers are allowed. Sometimes the honest answer is that a grandparent needs to see their grandchild, and that matters too. But asking the question changes what you decide, and more often than not it gives you permission to do less.
A great deal of distress around celebrations comes from traditions being done at children rather than with them.
Almost everything that helps during the holidays comes back to predictability. Children who cope well with a big day out usually cope because they knew what was coming.
This is the single highest-value thing you can do, and it is consistently the thing families feel most awkward about. Airlines, ferry operators, hotels, campsites, attractions and festivals all have processes for supporting disabled visitors — but almost none of them can help if the first they hear of it is when you arrive.
You don’t have to explain everything
Describing what your child needs — “he can’t manage long queues”, “she needs to be near a toilet”, “he becomes distressed in crowds” — is usually more useful than naming a condition, and it is a great deal less to have to say at a desk. You are not obliged to justify your child to a stranger.
The journey gets less planning than anything else and causes more trouble than most of it. For a lot of children the travelling is the hardest part of the whole trip — a long stretch of confinement with nothing to do, no clear end point, and an adult in the front who can’t help.
Pack a bag of things your child actually likes, and keep it within reach rather than in the boot. Whatever is safe and genuinely of interest to them is the right answer, not what you feel ought to interest them.
Keep the bag by the door and restock it after every trip. It works just as well for hospital appointments and long waits as it does for holidays.
Changing Places toilets
If your child needs more than a standard accessible toilet, Changing Places facilities have a height-adjustable adult changing bench, a hoist and considerably more room. There are well over a thousand in the UK, and the Changing Places website and app will show you the nearest one and what it contains. You will usually need to take your own sling. Checking before you travel — rather than hoping — takes about two minutes and removes one of the commonest reasons families cut a day short.
The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower is a discreet signal that the wearer has a non-visible disability and may need a little more time, help or patience. Staff who recognise it can offer support without you having to explain.
Lanyards are usually free from participating places — airport assistance desks, many supermarkets, rail stations, and some attractions — and yours to keep and reuse anywhere the scheme is recognised. You will not be asked to prove anything or name a condition. They can also be bought directly from the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower website, which is worth doing rather than buying from a marketplace, as unofficial copies circulate.
One honest caveat: a Sunflower is not a fast-track pass. It does not guarantee priority or shorter queues. It signals a need for understanding, which is a different and more limited thing.
Run by Nimbus Disability, the Access Card translates your child’s needs into symbols a venue can act on — for example a companion requirement, level access, difficulty standing, or urgent toilet access. It saves repeating the same conversation at every ticket desk, and many venues offer free carer entry where the companion symbol is shown. There is a charge for the card itself; check the current fee when you apply.
The Max Card is a discount card for families of children with SEND, giving free or reduced admission at hundreds of UK attractions — castles, zoos, bowling alleys, trampoline parks and more. It is distributed locally rather than nationally, usually through your local authority or a local charity, so search your council’s name plus “Max Card” to find out who issues yours. Discounts vary by venue and the website isn’t always current, so it is worth ringing ahead to confirm.
If your child needs someone with them at the cinema, the CEA Card entitles them to a free ticket for one accompanying adult. Many cinemas also run autism-friendly or relaxed screenings, with lights up, sound down and freedom to move around.
Merlin parks — Alton Towers, Chessington, LEGOLAND Windsor and Thorpe Park — run a shared Ride Access Pass, which allows virtual queuing rather than standing in line, for the pass holder and up to three others. Applications go through Nimbus Disability, who assess the barriers your child faces rather than requiring a particular diagnosis.
Apply far earlier than feels necessary
Merlin advise applying for the Nimbus Access Card at least three months before your visit, and pass slots are limited and pre-booked through their app. A summer trip therefore needs sorting in the spring. Other parks — Paultons, Drayton Manor and others — run their own schemes, so always check that park’s accessibility page rather than assuming one scheme covers everywhere.
Not every good day requires a journey, and there is usually more locally than families realise.
If money is the barrier, the Family Fund provides grants to lower-income families raising disabled or seriously ill children, which can cover breaks, equipment and sometimes travel insurance. It is worth checking eligibility rather than assuming you won’t qualify.
A realistic word about the summer
Some days will not work. A trip will be abandoned, a queue will be too long, a place will turn out to be much louder than the website suggested. That is not a failure of planning, and it is not a reflection on you or your child. Going home early is always allowed, and a holiday with three good days and four quiet ones is a good holiday.
This guide is one of a series produced by SEND Experts at Hand to help families support their child with confidence. Its companions are holidays and festivals and celebrations through the year. For advice tailored to your family, book a 1:1 advice session.
The Academy of Inclusive Skills and Knowledge is a free library of practical SEND guides, written by SEND Experts at Hand for families and the practitioners who work alongside them. No sign-up, nothing to pay.
Also in the AISK for families: plans, meetings and paperwork · starting school and other transitions · communication · regulation and behaviour · sleep · days out, holidays and celebrations · making sense of the SEND system
SEND Experts at Hand offers 1:1 advice sessions for families — assessments, meetings and funding panels, without the jargon. A free introductory telephone consultation is arranged by email.
sendexpertsathand.co.uk/contact
Independent SEND consultancy for education settings and families.
